When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized ".
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."
HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!

No more ear muffs

It's official. This Saturday night my babies are going away. I found a nice lady through a chinchilla rescue service that is going to come and take them away. We've been corresponding over what to feed them and what not. I'm gonna miss them. But it's a sacrifice I need to make. They deserve better. And I've found someone who can provide that.

Blah

Blagh... that's how I feel. I cant fully make sentences. It's just so blah right now.

Learn something

moar funny pictures

Darn it!

moar funny pictures
Just to give you a clue as to the weather lately...

Try to Smile

moar funny pictures

Headache

Allright... so I had a headache for most of the day yesterday, even had to take a nap at work (first time for that in a while). When I came home it turned into a full out migraine. Ugh. It came on quick, too. All of a sudden I asked Chris to turn off the lights and turn down the TV, everything was too bright and too loud. It hurt soooo much. Chris had to give me a hydrocodine, which took a while to knock me out. It was still with me today. I had to sleep most of the day to work off the medicine, and now it's a mild headache. The lights are still really bright, but I'm able to turn my screen down a lot, which helps. I've also had a bit of caffeene, which should help a bit more, because I didn't take another HC today. I just rested. Anytime I tried to sit up, it came back in full force. I didn't even get up to watch TV, I just laid there, switching sides.
But I am better now. Not to worry people. I'm pretty sure it's due to the insane weather we've been having.
Anyway, back to work. I should be just fine by tomorrow morning, but I do thank Katie for letting me have the full day off, because I was able to come in with just a headache about halfway through, but I'm glad now that I got that extra rest.

Computer Meltdown

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! My computer, at a pivotal computer time, crashed. Big time crashed. We're not talking just reboot and go. No we're talking major Nerd Heard problems. So I went in because I had the BSOD (Blue Screen of Death) ... and my computer is officially dead, according to the Squad Agent. I spent $150 for them to tell me what I already knew. M@#$n F^#^$&*@!! GRRRRR.... I ate a chocolate chip cookie Katie brought me. Sorry, Chris.
So, I wouldn't be upset if it was any other time, but the F%$%^ Marketing people decide "Hey, your t-shirts are a great idea. Can you get em ready yesterday?" So not only did they screw themselves over and want me to fix it, but now I can't because my computer is up the creek. Grrr... and it's costing me money instead of making money. Sometimes I really hate technology.

MS Up

So I took an IV to the hand... ouch. Chris took it out on Monday. I'm trying to recoupe from it all. Doing well. I'm trying to recoupe about everything, but it's hard to back track right now. KP is going through the same thing with steroids right now, so it feels good not to be alone on that sort of stuff. It was really hard dealing with stuff with that in my system so hard. I was not a happy person, I just felt tired all the time. I'll update you guys in a while. I'm still recouping.

Poem 1.3

Life and life
on and on
the syster sings
her wyred song.

Rubber Gloves

My hands are doing that no-feeling glove thing it does. On my left it's from the pinkie out, on my right it's from the thumb out. My shoulders feel like they've been sunburnt. My legs are not cooperating, I can't stand up for long periods of time. I'm so tired that I don't like holding myself up for long periods of time. I wish I was at home in bed. I really just want to sleep.
You know how it feels when you lay on your arm and it falls asleep? That's how my arms feel most of the time all over, except the inside ridge. I feel so weak. I just want to sleep. I'm very close to letting everyone out early today, but I know it'd be wrong. 2.5 hours to go... urggghh.
Chris thinks that the symptoms flared up because I started taking Alli. I think it's because all the stress we've had lately. We both thought it was the ring, because right after we got a sizer for it was when I started noticing it. But I've had to go without my ring for a few days (which make me very nervous and unhappy) to double check that theory. I figure we'll cut everything out and start introducing everything one by one slowly. The problem is that it takes a few days to a week for symptoms to show up.

This Week Review

This past week hasn't been awful, but I've started to note a decline in my feeling capabilities. My left hand has once again gone numb from the palm of the hand through the pinkie, ring, and middle fingers. It makes it odd to do anything, like type, with this hand. I think this is just due to a pinched nerve. It is, nevertheless, annoying. Also my legs are acting up again. I've noticed these symptoms for the last few days. Probably started around Tuesday or Wednesday with the legs, around Sunday or Monday for the hand.
That and I'm tired, but the fatigue is probably due to the late night I had yesterday. I went out with a friend to dinner after work and we stayed out for a while, which was nice, but now it's really kicking my butt.

Anxiety

So I'm kind of dragging because I've got a lot of anxiety. I mean, Chris and I want to move back to Oklahoma eventually. Chris wants to move back sooner rather than later. I'm kind of blah about that decision because... well, it's a decision and I don't do those well. Also, what job would we each have? I'm trying to line up a job for him at OSU, because I know of an opening that he could do. Also he'd have state insurance. I'm trying to line up so I can work at the ranch. Maybe my pay is that my personal insurance is paid, cause that's all I really need if I'm at home and Chris pays for groceries and stuff. I wouldn't need to be paid much at all that way.
So I've got things worked out as far as that goes... except the actuality of it. I'm just starting to get a hold of people for Chris' job, and my insurance relies on my pay for whatever job I might get. So, if he gets the job we're routing for, I'm not sure if I will be able to go right away or not. I'm hoping so, but we've gotta get everything else lined up as well.
Part of another anxiety is the house. If we move... I JUST bought this house. I haten to turn around and sell it after saying I'd be in it for at least five years. It just doesn't seem right. Especially since my folks had to help me out with it so much.
Argh...
School anxiety, work anxiety, house anxiety, love anxiety, life andxiety. It's so easy for me to turn every which way and see something to be axious about (anxious in the bad way). It's flu season, grr. I've got to go get that shot soon. Medical anxieties. MS anxieties... everything anxieties. Anxiety about anxieties! Grr!

Fat

Urgh. I'm fat. Don't give me that crap. I am. I weigh more than I have my entire life... and now I'm getting married. When I tried on Jen's bridesmaid dresses I had to wear a (eak!)... well, i'm not even going to say it, but it was in the plus sizes! I hate this. All I am is hungry.
Not only that, but because I'm hungry, I'm pissy. I'm easily bitchy today. Yesterday I wasn't hungry at all, but I still ate because I knew I needed to. Today I'm hungry as all get up. I hate that feeling. My stomache sits on the counter. I hate that. I hate being fat, and I hate being hungry. How am I both?! Shush. Grrrr...

I'm Next!

http://www.sliceoflifetv.com/index.php?id=2c89109d

You guys have got to go to this site! It's freaky!

Sick weekend

Yup, this weekend I was ill. It started on Thursday, I could feel it in my sinuses. By Friday I was dizzy a lot and my throat was hurting a lot. I made it through most of work, but had to go home early to rest. Most of saturday was spent in bed as well. Sunday I got up and Chris took me out for a little bit before I had to set down to write my homework paper. I am doing much better today. The only way of knowing that I've got a problem with my sinuses is when I lay my head down.

MS symptoms, come and feel em

This site is a great site that everyone should go to and see a basic playout of MS makes you go through.


http://www.ms-gateway.ie/understanding-ms/ms-simulator-35.htm

Bad night

last night was a bad night.
Had to work my way through it.

Money money money

Grrr... so I don't have an AHB debit card yet, and I'm out of checks (or at least I can't find them). I am still figuring out this transfer thing, so I'm currently out of money (or unable to get to it, as is the case of AHB). It's just making things difficult because the bills are coming in now. It's times like this that I really wish I had a credit card.
Don't worry folks I'm getting my ahb stuff, it's just taking it's time to get to me... urgh. The other ones... well, they're pretty empty or untouchable right now.
Besides this is just be venting.

Cell Phone

Hey, for some reason the sim card on my phone is not working. Sorry, I'm gonna go get it figured out in a little bit. It's bothersome.

possible cure

Experimental MS Vaccine Proves Safe in Early Test
It could lead to individualized treatments for other autoimmune diseases, researchers say
By Steven Reinberg
Posted 8/13/07
MONDAY, Aug. 13 (HealthDay News) -- An experimental DNA vaccine to fight multiple sclerosis is safe and may also be effective, results of a small Canadian trial suggest.

The vaccine, called BHT-3009, works by preventing the immune system from attacking the myelin sheaths that protect nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. The destruction of myelin eventually destroys a nerve cell's axon, which prevents cells from transmitting messages and is one of the hallmarks of MS.

"This was an early trial of a new class of drugs for autoimmune disease in general and for MS in particular," said lead researcher Dr. Amit Bar-Or, of McGill University's Montreal Neurological Institute.

The idea of the vaccine is to change the immune cells that target the nervous system, Bar-Or said. "What we want to do is focus on just those cells that are involved in the disease process," he said. "So antigen-specific therapies are designed to try to modify or eliminate only those bad-guy cells that are involved in the disease process."

The vaccine makes use of a backbone of DNA onto which is attached myelin basic protein, which is a component of myelin. When you inject it, the vaccine reduces the body's ability to attack myelin, Bar-Or explained.

The findings were published online Monday in Archives of Neurology and were expected to be published in the October print issue of the journal.

According to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, the disease's symptoms are unpredictable and vary from person to person, and even from time to time in the same person. One person may experience abnormal fatigue, while another might have severe vision problems. A person with MS could have loss of balance and muscle coordination, making walking difficult. Another person could have slurred speech, tremors, stiffness and bladder problems.

In the new study, Bar-Or and his colleagues gave the vaccine to 30 patients with relapsing-remitting MS, which is characterized by alternating periods of symptoms and then relief from those symptoms. At one, three, five and nine weeks, the study participants received injections of BHT-3009 or a placebo. After 13 weeks, those who had been given a placebo were given four injections of BHT-3009.

The researchers evaluated the patients using MRI scanning. They found that the vaccine was well tolerated and also appeared to produce antigen-specific immune changes that stopped the destruction of myelin. These changes were seen in the reduction in the number of CD4+ T-cells -- white blood cells that target myelin.

Bar-Or cautions that much more work remains to be done to see if the vaccine is effective. Whether it represents a possible cure is unknown; all that is known right now is that it's safe. "The trial did provide a biological proof of concept, he said. "In addition, there are other targets in the brain that are involved in MS.

"Now that this biological principle appears to be sound, one could develop DNA vaccines to different targets," he said. "Ideally one could develop a cocktail that deals specifically with an individual's MS."

Based on theses findings, the Montreal researchers have started a phase 2 trial testing BHT-3009 on 290 patients with MS.

The same approach could also be used to treat other autoimmune diseases, such as type 1 diabetes, lupus, myasthenia gravis and rheumatoid arthritis, the researchers said.

Patricia O'Looney, vice president of biomedical research programs at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, thinks this new approach is promising, but the concept still needs to be proven in larger trials.

"This is like science fiction. It's something that wouldn't have even been thought about 10 years ago," O'Looney said.

Still, the results offer hope, she said.

"This is a fascinating approach to try to control the immune activity with folks with MS," she said. "We are always looking for new ways to help people with MS. It is important that this is a novel idea, and we will just have to watch and see if it goes forward."

For more on multiple sclerosis, visit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Class-ic

So I'm trying to get my classes in order so I can finally, finally!, graduate. I thought I'd be able to take the OSU online Freshman Comp 2 class, but it's already full. I'm gonna try and call the English Department and see what can be done. Otherwise I have two other options and I'm gonna aim to do both. I can apply for the morning class on Mondays and Wednesdays here at AUM. The main concern with this thing is the stuff it requires. Other than that I'm also going to try and take the CLEP test again for this, and it'll be good if I've already started the class, just in case I don't do well. But either way, I've finally got a back-up... let's hope one of them works out!

MS Update

This last weekend hasn't been bad, but it's been an odd one. Katie and I went bowling on Friday, but I got so weak I couldn't bowl my normal 10 and 11 pound balls. I had to wearily bowl a 9 pound, which is the smallest ball they allow adults to bowl with. It wasn't a problem except I was so off balance with everything my score was cut in half. I kept trying my luck with the heavier balls, but I stopped after one point where I just sat down and pushed the ball down the lane.
It was a weird fatigue, nothing major. Just felt odd because of the weakness.
And since then I've had balance problems that eventually led to the last few days of drop foot. It's made me recieve a number of looks and comments from fellow workers. Basically if I'm not over-compensating for it by marching everywhere, I look like I'm drunk.... or drunk marching. It's been interesting, but it's keepin my balance and feet from dragging that's more on my mind than any comment.
It was worse on Tuesday when my legs felt like they were asleep... it's more so in my right leg.
I'm in debate about a chiropractor or not for this job.

Memories

Today I was reminded of a very old and very painful sadness. It's weird. I sit in the office talking to my dr., and all the sad memories I bring up and am almost on tears about don't hurt and make me feel the way this one does. He's an aweful person that I miss. And it puts an aweful feeling in my life. I suddenly have a waive of depression worse than, and different than, any other. I think it's worse because how it makes me feel. I don't want to stop thinking about it, as much as I know I need to to get out of the funk it's set me in.
I mean, I was having a perfectly great day, when all of a sudden a face came up on my computer screen that, in spite of not seeing for years, I knew so well. I cannot describe my pain for him as anything other than sadness. Immediately questions of "why?" explode in my mind, almost to fast to catch them, but then they all barrage me and leave wounds so deep I don't think any answer another person would give would heal them.

Poetic Excuses to Miss Work

Dear sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it
I'm not a pretty sight

My body is all black and blue
My face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you
Why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height
Was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased
He is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them
Down the ladder in my hod

Well moving all these bricks by hand
It was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below

But in my haste to do the job
I was to blind to see
That a barrell full of building bricks
Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope
The barrell fell like lead
But clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket
'til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head

Still clinging tightly to the rope
From this almighty blow
Whilst the barrel spilled out half it's bricks
Some fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And so started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope
My body racked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock

Still clinging tightly to the rope
I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks
The barrel had scattered round

I lay there bleeding on the ground
I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me
I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground
I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier
It started down once more
And landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm
And I can only say
I hope you'll understand
Why I am not at work today !!!

Wisdom teeth and stupidity

So I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and I'm acting pretty stupid today. The hydrocodine is making me really itchy. Yet another allergy I'm gaining due to the Avonex immune system boost. I'm really loopy and will update ya'all later.

Oh Yeah

This weekend... Hmm, it's actually fine. I've been really tired, but manageable. Chris and I went and say Live Free or Die Hard today, that was fun.
My shot burned when he gave it to me. It must have hit a nerve, or something. And I had a weird reaction to the adheisive on the bandaide... really weird. Chris says it's like hives. It's kind of like when you get too much sun and you get the blisters... or pimple like stuff. Blisters, I guess... it itches ever so often. Very odd. Other than that, hmmm... left hand loosing sensation. Dizzy, and loss of balance, but fine otherwise. Just the shot stuff is odd.
My babies are fine and loving that I'm laying down with them.

Plumbers

So I've got this plumber that did a great job fixing my toilets and leaky sink. I had to hire him because my original plumber wouldn't work with me, and he agreed to pay for another guy to come in and do the work. But now he's saying he's not going to pay me the 325 the other guys charged me. Frankly it's bull shit.
This Alex guy, the one who said he'd come out and fix everything, but never did, is refusing to pay me back even though I have him recorded on my voicemail saying that he would. He's going back on his word and frankly I can't afford to not get the money. I mean, that's almost half my monthly morgage! He wasn't doing his job, and he told me to get someone else and that he'd pay for him to do the work, and now he's saying he's not going to pay for it. Grrrr... I hate people who take advantage of me. It's just not right. He seemed like such a nice person, but now he just seems like a bastard. I left him a message saying that I'd be by his work expecting the check. But that's because he's always avoiding me, and I need that money! It's not fair that he takes advantage of me. Grrr... sorry, I'm so tired of this crap. I just want to sleep and get this settled. I don't want to have to take him to court, but he's completely in the wrong about this stuff. Grrrr

Today's Update

Today was very odd. I need my chocolate fix, so Andy's tossing handfuls of Tootsie Rolls at me.
My bowels finally decided to talk back without dyruetics, fun. My nose bled again, this morning. Which, of course made me dizzy, which of course made me have the short attention span thingy.
Other than that... I got a new phone today! And lost it before it even got out of the box. Not really, but they had forgotten to put it in the actual box. After being put on hold for a long long time, they finally agreed to send me another one. Thank God. It just goes to prove I can't hold onto a phone.

Oh, I knew I forgot something! Besides the obvious memory loss (more to blame on the loss of sleep), is this bubbling feeling I have in my right thigh, about midway up. It'd a really odd sensation. Other than that, I've had a lot more muscle spasms/twitching and my balance & gait have been off... all of which can be due to the sleep thing, I just don't know about the bubbling feeling. A bit of incontinence, yuckage.

Fatigue

Excrutiatingly fatigued... both today, yesterday and the day before... especially today. I am sooo tired, but my body's awake, it's mainly my eyes. MS sucks. I mean, I can keep working and whatnot, I'm just really tired. Urgh.
Also, my feet had kind of lost feeling the other day, not tingly, just not anything. My hands were similar when I was taking my nails off on Thursday. Now they're just tight in my fingers (the usual suspects: outter ones more so than inner.
Now, though, my feet are really sensitive, so all those days without shoes, now I need them, but I still want to walk around without them.

Last Few Days

These last few days have been kind of weird, and I don't know why. On Thursday (19th) I couldn't get myself to get out of bed for work in the morning. I could have slept all day if I didn't feel that I needed to be somewhat productive, but that only moved me to the couch. Same for Friday, non-productive and hard to move, very fatigued.
I feel aweful when I miss work, I hate missing it. So on Saturday I was slightly better, because I went to work. Day after the shot, but I managed until 5:30. Tired and just wanted to sit down all day and not move from my chair, not even to get water.
Sunday was better, I thought... I was tired and unproductive, and could have slept most of the day, but Chris was restless so we went out to walk around. My stomache was hurting, cramping up and whatnot (which is not supposed to happen this week). I thought it was from a lack of food, so we went to eat. On our way home, he had to pull over because I went pale and quickly threw up all of that nice meal I'd just eatten. Ewe. Before that moment, my stomache felt streatched and was painful to the slightest touch. I did feel a lot better afterwards, though. I don't know what caused me to vomit, but I did, and was amazingly awakened by my body after that.
Monday: Not bad, but just wanted to sleep all day. Did some laundry to feel productive and called around town for some stuff I needed.
Today, Tuesday, I have a couple of doctor apointments (my one-year check up, and my orthodontist), but right now I'm waiting for the plumbers to get back to finish up the toilets. They had to go get some part. lalalala

For a Walk

I took Pixi for a walk today... it was fine, except for the fact that my legs felt like lead weights had been strapped to them. That was my biggest note to take it easy. It took a while me to get where I could feel comfortable walking, so I got to the point that if I just kept walking I was fine... otherwise everything was well.
It was cute because all the neighborhood kids know the dogs so they just came right up and were calling her name and all. It was funny, but it made me really tired in the end.

Rumble & complain

Rumble & Complain aka. Now let me ask you something

Not only are the Oslen twins the next "good" set of Bond Girls (WTF!!), but... (work related rumble)
... I don't know how many times I have been told "Now let me ask you something." Aurgh!
And ask for my previous grumble: I told someone to look for those numbers on their ticket and they replied "well, there are actually three sets of numbers" and so when I told him yes sir, I need the number set on the very bottom (the most bottom of the sets, sir) he proceeded to read me off all three numbers. Grrrr..

Do You Understand What I say?!

What do people not understand about "at the bottom left of your vouchers there should be two sets of numbers. I need the very bottom of those numbers." ?!! Pople have been screwing this up all day. NOT THAT NUMBER!!!

Irritable

Thank you everyone for your concerns, I'm doing well, just really busy.
This weekend was reasonable. On Friday I had the day off and loaded up boxes and boxes in Chris' vehicle and ran back and fourth between houses. Saturday, I worked for a few hours and then went home. I was really irritable the whole day, but Chris still had me move stuff. I got my shot that night. He also had me moving stuff on Sunday, my day of rest. We only moved a couple of loads because I was really irritable, mainly due to bowels and having been moving for the past three days. Monday, I took care of some bank issued and (ba-ba-da!) moved boxes. I didn't get much moved that day, but Chris and I are close to empty in the other house, so... eh. Sorry, Chris that I was so irritable. I know I shouldn't stop until we've gotten everything in, but I get tired when I get hot and sweaty. Ugh.
Other than that, I've just been hormonally bitchy. Sorry folks. Hope everyone had a great Mother's Day!

Oh, yeah, I was supposed to, not for you guys to worry but for my memory, write about my numbness. Remaining in the hands, feels like a glove. A little bit in my back, in a weird stripe along the lengthwise of it. Off and on my legs have been understandably numb. I've been really shakey in the hands this weekend, mainly due to overexertion. That's the one part that really bothered me this weekend (besides being extremely irratable). The irritability is probably due to irritability throughout my body. I'm not sure which types of cramps hurt worse, constipation or menstration. Sorry, folks, I've said it once, and I'll say it again. This is for my use to remember stuff...
Like not having bowel movements and forgetting that this is not the week to be off the patch. Poop is usually a funny subject, but when you haven't done it in a few days it sucks. I am not full of shit about this subject, but I am on a physical level. I've done everything I can think of to personally have a bowel movement. I've had one every few days with little releif, mainly a lot of cramping ensues to do the stress I'm putting on my digestive track: everything from my low-lactos levels skyrocketing because of loads of ice-cream and cereal to choco-lax and extra fiber in my diet. Yuckieness ensuess... hopefully I'll stop getting this "shitty" cramping soon. It's not all the time, just when I try to go to the restroom.
Anyway...

Hands Out

It's weird about my fingers, they're no longer the rubber-glove numb. They're stuff, loss of sensational. But they still have a bit of tingle. I'm assuming it's a delayed feeling. They can't stop shaking and they bumble over the keys on the keyboard, despite knowing them very well. I really have to pound on the keys to make sure I'm really pressing them, and pressing backspace a lot because I keep messing up. The hands have been like this for a while now... so I'm hoping they get better soon. It's mainly kept to the finger tips and the pinkie and ring fingers down through the palm, mainly stronger loss of feeling in the right hand. Which is kind of cool, considering most of the stuff happens to me on the left side.
Speaking of which my left eye is not completely better. I think it is, and then it'll be like wearing a contact sometimes and the lens will shift... but it's my own eye! Sometimes it itches so much I feel like I'm scratching it right out of it's socket. Other times it gets only a little blurry, and ever so often when I check and things are a bit off (I know my right eye is doing major compensation for it right now), my vision is off... in both going grayscale and burriness of sight.
Also, my speech slurs easily if I don't watch it. I think my brain is dragging ass.

The past 4 days

Friday: Shot day... ouch! It burned so badly when Chris put the needle in! He immediately took it out, the site burned through the night. I ended up getting the medicine at another site because of the pain. It was raw/burning at that site for most of the weekend.
Saturday: An okay day. I slept through most of it. packed a little and did paperwork.
Sunday: had work at the box office, nothing big.
Monday: Had to call in sick because I was having major cramping. It woke me up at around 5:30/6 in the morning, so I was not happy. I had had a lot of milk products the night before, so either that or the fact that I hadn't had a major bowel movement in the last few days could have been the cause. I stayed home and rested most of the day. If I was't in bed, I was close to a toilet just in case... and nothing happened. :(
Today: I'm doing better, stomach's still uckie, but I did have a bowel movement today! (honestly, folks, if you don't want to know, don't read it) My hands still have a loss of sensations in the fingers. My legs feel weak and my balance is way off. I didn't feel like working today, but I'm glad I'm here. the backs of my thighs feel like they're next to the heater sometimes, but only sometimes.

This Saturday

.. Was painful. It hurt all over, I was very tired and achie all over. I'm so glad that it's only one day. My fingers, today, are still numb from the second nuckle down to the tips. Along the pinkie, it goes down to the palms.

Numb and Groggy Puppy

On and off for the last week and a half my torso has been numb. It's not a big thing, this is just one of the symptoms I'm learning to live with. Also this week I've started to notice that my right hand, finger tips mainly, are numb (tingly). Now my left hand's finger tips are the same way. I jokingly think that this is due to my new obsession Bejeweled 2. I'm officially addicted. I know that it is the reason I'm so tired all day, because I play it endlessly until 11 at night, which I'm trying to kick that habit.
Also Pixi just got spayed yesterday. She was groggy all night, but this morning she still tried to jump up on me. So she is feeling better. :)

My Eye!

Is a lot better... not completely, but it is definetly better. I can actually start to see stuff out if it. So it's on it's way to being back to normal. Horay!

Peaceful Bliss

I've found this great cool web-site: www.reverendfun.com
It's got some cute, religiously based, comics that are actually pretty funny. Here's one I thought fit on this page... but check it out for yourself.

Optic Neuritis

That picture doesn't even begin to show you how I see things. Actually, it does, but it seems so much worse sometimes!
I'm still going through a steady bout of optic neuritis. Dr. E said that I scored a 110... if I had scored a 120 I would have been immediately diagnosed with O.N. and given a steroid IV again. But since I was under, I can't imagine seeing any less out of that eye, I don't have to. In fact, it's not recommended. I'm going to try some self medication, though.
You see, ON is brought on by an inflamation of the optic nerve. So maybe if I take some anti-inflamitories it'll help. Don't worry, I'm not going to over do it or anything, I just want the adjacent headaches to go away. Remember folks I do stare at a screen for most of my day.
Anyway, this has been going on for a week now. It started very lightly on Monday, the 9th, and quickly progressed the next day, where I had to take part of my day off of work... and the next day fully off to go see dr. E.
Ideas of why: Stress, both mentally and physically. It was the first stages of buying the house and getting the money figured out as well as a weird week of spring where my sinuses were crazy... in fact I thought it was my sinuses, until I couldn't see the next day. I got a VEP done while I was at the drs.
A VEP is: Visually Evoked Potential. To me it's a TV with black and white squares that move around like they were on crack while I concentrated on a red square in the middle. You wouldn't believe how hard this is when you can't really see the red square.

The Visually Evoked Response test (VER), also known as the Visually Evoked Potential test (VEP), is a test for Optic Neuritis or other demyelinating events along the Optic Nerve or further back along the optic pathways.
The test involves watching a black and white checkered pattern on a TV screen in a darkened room. The black and white squares alternate on a regular cycle which generates electrical potentials along the optic nerve and into the brain. These can be detected with electroencephalographical (EEG) sensors placed at specific sites on the top of the head (the occipital scalp). Each eye is tested independently while an eye patch is worn on the other eye.
VEPs are very sensitive at measuring slowed responses to visual events and can often detect dysfunction which is undetectable through clinical evaluation and the person is unaware of any visual defects.
Because of their ability to detect silent lesions and historic demyelinating episodes, they are very useful diagnostic tools. A definite diagnosis of multiple sclerosis requires at least two distinct demyelinating episodes, in two different central nervous system sites which are separated by at least one month (the Schumacher criteria). VEPs can often provide evidence of such episodes when other tests, even MRI, cannot.
Each pattern reversal stimulates a nerve transmission along the optic nerve, the optic chiasm and the optic tract to the lateral geniculate body. From there a second axonal signal moves along the optic radiations and the posterior periventricular white matter to the occipital cortex. This stimulates the striate cortex to generate a large electrical potential which is detectable on the EEG sensors.
The whole trip (the latency) normally takes about 100 milliseconds. This latency is called the P100. White matter lesions anywhere along this pathway will slow or even stop the signal.
Almost everyone with optic neuritis will have an abnormal VEP latency. Studies show that 85-90% of people with definite MS and 58% of people with probable MS have abnormal VEPs.
Other conditions including Friedreich's ataxia, vitamin B12 deficiency and neurosyphilis can also slow the P100 latency.

Anyway, besides the constant lack of vision in my left eye and the on-again-off-again headaches... I'm actually doing fine.
I turned up to work on Saturday, Avonex recovery day, for a quick brunch and ended up doing two tours instead. It was unexpected, but fun. It wore me out more than I thought, but I stayed up for the rest of the day anyway. I did get winded going up the stairs, though. Boy am I out of shape.

MS Update

This is just a quick update for what's going on MS wise:
Not alot, thank goodness. But I do have a light bout of optic neuritis in my left eye. It's a bit bothersome because it's right in the middle of my line of vision. I'm sure it's all started from the other night when I cried really hard. the muscles around my eye have been kind of tender since. I figured it was only a matter of time... It still has that raw, tender feeling around it... Round the sinuses... I keep thinking it's something on my glasses.
Also, I feel a little lightheaded, but this is due to getting by on my Tryleptol.
Don't worry, I know that it'll all get better soon.

Get Your Scrubs On

Cast members featured on Golf Channel's The Big Break All Star Challenge (Posted August 6, 2006)

Several cast members will appear on an upcoming episode of The Golf Channel's The Big Break All Star Challenge. Ken Jenkins, Robert Maschio, Neil Flynn, Judy Reyes, Sam Lloyd, and Johnny Kastl will compete against each other in a golf-related challenge to benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. The Scrubs episode will be broadcast on Tuesday, August 22nd at 10:30pm ET/PT.



Stars in your eyes and money in your bank account? Or simply want to rub shoulders with the actors on hit show Scrubs? Queue right up here, and give money to a worthwhile charity in need of your help. Currently, with 15 bids and only $4,050 so far, they havent quite reached their target, but the National Multiple Sclerosis Society (Orange County, of the US chapter), are hoping to raise more money 'to end the devastating effects of multiple sclerosis' by offering a walk-on part in the Emmy-nominated show. You've got less than a day to raise enough cash to help out, and to possibly help realise your star potential. (Any bidders, please contact us for our telephone numbers, to give to that bee-yoot-e-ful actor who plays 'J.D', please!)

(A walk-on part in 'Scrubs')
Bid Until Oct-03-05 22:00:00 PDT

Ribbon of Hope

Linda Chance, Oklahoma City, OK


The idea for an MS awareness ribbon was a no-brainer for Linda Chance: If so many other diseases had ribbons, why shouldn’t MS?

With newfound time on her hands due to the necessity of an early retirement, Linda decided to take action. Using a hot glue gun, she constructed more than 1,000 ribbons made from prism fabric to distribute at MS walks, runs and rides. She selected the prism design because the changing colors signified MS as an ever-changing and unpredictable disease. She also authored a brochure and created display boards to showcase the ribbons.

With her Betaseron® Champions of CourageSM grant, Linda will be able to manufacture more MS awareness ribbons and travel to other cities to promote the concept.

"My goal is to display the ribbon at as many events and locations as possible so that more people will be aware of MS and its devastating effects," says Linda. "My hope is that increased awareness will result in more funding to find an end to this disease."

With her Champions of Courage grant, Linda assembled ribbon kits which were distributed through the Oklahoma chapter of the National MS Society as well as by Linda herself!

Linda’s hard work to benefit people with MS did not gone unnoticed by her community. For her outstanding volunteer service, Linda received the 2000 Oklahoma Citian With a Disability of the Year award at the city’s Mayor’s Conference on People with Disabilities, and also was honored by her chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Why I Cry

Lately I've been keeping myself awake at night trying to think of nothing, hoping to start a dream. But more and more that has become harder to do. As you can see it's already rounding the witching hour, and I've already been in bed and back. I just lay there, restlessly refusing to let my mind think about what I know it will. I tell myself to "stop it" and just concentrate on the darkness. But my eyes don't stay shut very long.
I know partially why all this is: I'm currently not taking my Trileptol because my perscription has run out and I'm going throught that "emotional period" (of the month). Don't worry, I'm seeing that doctor soon and will definetly get the medication back under control.
But the other night I scared myself. I started crying when I was supposed to be asleep. It started because I thought about a simple statement Chris had said about my lack of parenting towards the chins. It still saddens me because I do feel like a bad parent. But it's something I can push away because I know they are all right, and I know what I can do to better myself in this area.
Chris tried to comfort me, and kept telling me that it was alright to cry and let emotions out. It's something I knew I needed to do, but I'm a bit scared of it, and understandably so after the current explosion that I'm about to explain. I didn't want to, but couldn't stop crying. And after every time he asked why I'd reply "I don't know."
The crying got harder, my head hurt in the front and I couldn't get either to stop. I started letting myself fall further into the emotion and allowed my mind's eye to see what it was thinking: My grandpa. I was, and still am, upset about my grandpa. It's hard to write this, because I'm trying not to cry, so I'm pushing it all away while trying to pull it forward... no wonder my head hurts.
My grandpa. I was angry with myself for being so mad the day he died. I was on my way to see him in the hospital on what was supposed to be an easy proceedure, and I got the call. I was mad at him because I was on my way and it wasn't fair. I was mad at myself for not having left earlier to go see him, and that maybe I would have seen him before he died. I was mad that I pushed him away so easily during his last few months because I was scared of being hurt by him being ill. I didn't want to believe that my grandpa could ever be so weakened by something. He was a rock for me, and he didn't even let me say goodbye. I was so mad.
And I cry now because of this anger. Because I feel aweful that I felt so mad, so unjustified that he died.
I've tried so hard not to cry when stories are brought up, because his memory is so precious to everyone I don't want them to feel that they can't share them. Because I want to share them too... but sometimes, I'll be sitting alone, and my mind will simply flash his image in my head and it makes me want to cry.
I cried so hard last night I scared myself. I cried out yelling at my brain to "stop it!" and "just leave!". For the images to just "get out!" of my head. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was clawing at my head where the pounding was, trying to iron out my wrinkling forehead with the hard palms of my fists, pushing in my eyeballs through closed lids, sniffling and wailing so hard I didn't make sense anymore. I just didn't want to cry anymore. But at this point I couldn't stop. I do think that if Chris hadn't been there, holding me, and keeping my self abuse to a minimal, I'm sure I would have broke blood.
I don't know why I still cry. I thought I'd mourned enough. Sure I keep it quiet or stop myself from even starting... but looking at fit this emotion caused me last night I can easily see why I've gone the quieter routes.
I guess I post this to thank Chris for being there through my hysterics, and to tell people I'm a lot better than I used to be... as long as I stay medicated, unfortunately. Mainly though to get it out in a place I can access on why exactly I was crying when asked without having to retravel that route again to remember the answer.

Cry a Flur

I wanted to share this picture with everyone.
To commemorate the distruction of New Orleans from Katrina.

aspartame

Aspartame is the stuff Neutra-sweet is made of... and there are stuff connecting it to MS and MS-like symptoms... hmmmm.

Back Fat

EWE, I looked in the mirror the other day and saw myself... ewe! I have back fat! Dissapointment in weight goes on.

VOTE PC 15!!!

EXTRA! EXTRA!
I've recently entered my dogs (Chris' dog Tira & my little Pixi) in the Pet Supplies Plus "Cutest Pets" Contest.
I'm trying to win this poll and some other dog is way ahead. I need you all to VOTE as best you can EVERY DAY! It takes one vote a day per computer! But other than that you can vote as many times as you'd like (even go into the store and vote!)... So, vote at work, school, home, coffee shops, wherever! And please, please, please spread the word! Send everyone you know to the link to vote for PC 15 only. The contest ends at the end of April, and the winner gets free dog food for a year!
The Web page is : http://www.bythebridgephotography.com/contest.html
I know ti's a bit biase, but I'd really like it if you'd vote for my dogs: PC 15

VOTE PC 15!!!

Spray Away MS!!!

Posted: 04 Mar 2007, 17:29
Today...many of our Friends received information with an email pitching the following MS Treatment Spray ...I've added X'S TO THE E-MAIL:

I can only say that I'm at a loss for words!

here's the email our Friends received

:-)
stan

**********************THE EMAIL IS BELOW************************************



----------------------I Am Beating MS With The XXX Spray----------------------------

I have had MS since 1994. In 2002 my health really began to decline. I had to use a walker or wheelchair to get where I wanted to go. I decided to look for Alternative Medicine for help. I had received an e-mail from xxxxxxxxxx about a xxxxxx spray and treatment for MS being offered in the Bahamas .

I researched their information and testimonials and decided I HAD to go and find out for myself if it could help me. I can only say great thing about going to the Bahamas and starting the XXXXX spray.

Because of drop foot in my right leg and stiffness in my neck due to the auto accident I had not driven in 2 ½ years. After starting XXXXX spray I was able to get my Drivers License back on 9-28-06. 50 days after starting XXXXXX spray.

I also don't use my walker anymore, just a cane. I have my independence back and I thank God everyday.

I went to the Bahamas 8-8 thru 8-11-06. XXXXXXXX XXXXXX Foundation's Scientific Director) evaluated me and saw how I had no balance at all.

He sat me down and gave me 3 sprays under my tongue, waited 5 minutes and administered another 3 sprays.

After 5 minutes again he asked me to stand and hold my balance.

I held my balance for 2 1/2minutes 30 seconds with my eyes closed. Amazing. XXXXX XXXXX, a Bio Medical Engineer is one of my best friend's who helped me get to the Bahamas claimed that if she had not seen the results with her own eyes she never would have believed how quickly my balance had improved. XXXXX taught me exercises to do in the swimming pool to get my right leg working again and stronger. After 2 days of working out in the gym and the swimming pool, 2 hours every day. I felt confident enough to go Parasailing. I needed help walking through the sand and was caught on the landing in the boat. Bahamas was absolutely beautiful when you are up in the air being pulled by a boat ... and getting your life back with the XXXXX XXXXXX spray. I am doing Physical Therapy 2 days a week and will start using the Power Plate. I believe with peptide spray and hard work we can improve our lives.

I am beating MS and a bad Spine Injury; it just takes hard work, determination and faith. MS brings us all down even if you were superman it will.

The XXXXX XXXXXXX spray helps our brain command our nerves to walk or move our arms etc.

The opportunity is there, P. T. and the XXXXXX spray open the door for you to have a manageable life again. If you work hard you can improve your life. I am only 44 and was refusing to get worse. I thank God and all the people at XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX Foundation for giving me the opportunity to get stronger and regain my self confidence plus making my life more manageable.

XXXXXX XXXXXX


*****************************END OF EMAIL*************************************

THIS SPRAY IS NOT A JOKE! IT IS BEING SOLD TO OUR FRIENDS NOW!

It is important that you tell our Friends how you feel about this! Many Friends have written me thinking that this spray is a new miracle Cure for MS!!

MAKE YOUR COMMENTS ON MY BLOG NOW.

GO TO MY BLOG TONIGHT....click on "ADD COMMENT" next to "KUDOS"

- stan

Just a Thought...

I had a thought tonight while watching Scrubs, after my shot (which went very well, thank you Mom): my body started attacking itself when I was first born. You see when I was young, just born, I had: Intercussisson or intercessarian or gastronomoginalis syndrom (I can't find an online definition of these words, so I know they are spelled wrong). What it means basically is that my intestines were eating eat other. So, I think I have a smaller intestinal tract or something. Intersession. I couldn't get any food in or out, due mainly to the fact that my large intestine was being pushed into my small intestine, which in turn was digesting it.
Sorry, I did just take my meds and I'm just in that dddddddddduuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh state. You're lucky I'm making complete sentences. Anyway, I'm going to bed. LYA

PS: "It is his love, it is his passion..." "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage." I love Farris Buller... so full of great quotes.

In a Funk

I need validation... life is begining to look like normalicy is setting in, and that's not the life I imagined for myself. I always thought there was something more for me. I guess I'm asking what? I might just be going crazy to ask this, or I just thought that there was so much more to my life than this. I had dreams, ambition, and now I'm looking at blank years of white picket fences, children and dogs. I woke up out of my medicated slumber realizing I had so much more... I want so much more... and maybe it's just because I feel useless now, dragged down into this funk of a depression because of my fragile body. I want to know that there's more... so much more... that maybe I've strayed, or am on the right path. Scared that this is the life I'm supposed to live after all, that I was just reaching too high to begin with.
This comes all of a sudden, revealing some of my deeper feelings to some I don't even know. But I need to know... I want to know... what's my part in Life? I need to know there's something more to my life than this. If it was all a dream, that's fine... I just need to know. I guess I want to believe there's a more aspiring truth to my life than just the normalicy that scares me awakes at night. I always thought there was more, but everything seems against me. If that's all there is for me, fine. I'll accept it and go on with my life as it is. If not, as I want to believe... I just need to know if there's something different from what I'm spiraling into.
I'm sorry this is so selfish. Please don't think I'm crazy. I just woke myself in the middle of the night and thought I could keep this in no longer. I felt I couldn't wait to reach out (thank goodness for technology, eh?). If nothing else, just credit it to nerves.
People ask me what I want to do... I don't know. I guess this is it. I've kind of given up on everything. I haven't given up on life, because I'm still fighting that struggle with bated breath... every Friday Night I take steps towards prolonging the fraile situation my body will fall into some day. But what about my dreams? What the hell happened to my ambition? I had a plan, and now when asked about it... it's limited to what I'm going to do this week... maybe this month.
I'm living life on a day to day basis, and I've just realized it. I didn't used to. I used to have a drive of something more. I knew I was going to do amazing things. I knew there was something better for me out there. I was going to be somebody. Now I'm looking at just being someone... it's not the same. I'm struggling to stay afloat. The simple life I'm leading is hard... and harder still knowing I wanted more.
I like my life, but it's not what I planned... which is probably why I always answer "I don't know"... because every time I plan something for the future BAM! it gets knocked down by a locamotive. I'm just trying to make it through now.
I could whyne and complain that "it's just not fair", but I'm sure there are other people out there that would dissagree. So I won't. I just don't know what to do about it, besides not plan. I remember doing something similar in college, the I don't know/care beacuse who knows what'll happen next. I just don't like the funk it's put me in.
But what am I looking at, really?! At best living in Oklahoma on the Farm, married with children and dogs. Job? Dunno. And that's it. That's all I've got... at best.
I'm not saying that's a bad life, it's just not the life I was expecting (except maybe when I retired). I dreamed of so much more... and now I feel like less of a person because I don't feel I can reach these goals.
Who am I? I work in a freaking box... in Alabama! Not the life I imagined. Not the creative, greatly adventurous life I imagined someone would want to write about me-life. I didn't want a white picket fence 2.5 children two dogs a cat and four cars... I didn't imagine that for my life. It's not a bad life, I look forward to it, I guess. I guess I'm just scared of what other plans will be changing.
I thought I'd only be here for a few more months, then off to a new state, new job... and now, I have to stay. I just don't understand anymore. I don't know what to say anymore... I don't know.

I'm not that ill

[Peron:]
Your little body's slowly breaking down
You're losing speed, you're losing strength, not style
That goes on flourishing forever
But your eyes, your smile
Do not have the sparkle of your fantastic past
If you climb one more mountain it could be your last

[Eva:]
I'm not that ill, bad moments come but they go
Some days are fine, some a little bit harder
But that doesn't mean we should give up our dream
Have you ever seen me defeated?
Don't you forget what I've been through and yet
I'm still standing

[Peron:]
Eva, you are dying

[Eva:]
So what happens now?
Where am I going to?

[Peron:]
Don't ask anymore

Nurses and Numbness

This weekend's shot was administered by an actual nurse... and it hurt, the quick pop that it was. I turned around to see how it was going, and she already had the needle out. Very very quick. It was a fluid all in one motion or something. But it's nice because it didn't cost me any co-pay. It's a flat insurance fee for injections. But anyway, Sat was hard, and Sunday was tiring, despite extra meds. The puppies didn't make it easier by making their weekly escapes more interesting and complex. They keep finding holes in the fence, so I have to go out and watch them, and they need the sun... sometimes when I need to rest. But that's a past weekend. Chris came home for a bit of it and made a bit of a mess repacking. But the pups were glad to see him, as was I. Anyway, It's Tuesday again, almost halfway through another week! But yesterday was a holiday for me, and I relaxed a bit. Chris took me out to some newly opened resturaunts this weekend (Red Robin and Ruby Tuesday). Good burger places.

Itchy Scratchy

Numbness is a common symptom it seems, at least my most common one. But I've never before felt something like this (cue the music, j/k): My left arm is numb right below the elbow on the top side... and it started by being extremely itchy... which it still is at random times. In fact I didn't even realize it was numb until I started scratching it and noticed that it gave off the numb sensation to the surrounding area. There's no bites, bumps, etc. to blame this on. It's in the same place every time... but now it's starting to spread to my upper arm, so I'm worried about this new development.
So far I've only heard of being numb, never this... I don't even know if I'm describing it properly. The only thing I've done to remedy it when it gets so bad I feel like I'm going to make my arm bleed from scratching so hard is soak the damn thing with half a bottle of Absorbing Jr... .
I can't place when this started, I think last week some time. But here's what I've found out about it so far:
From The MS Information Sourcebook, produced by the National MS Society.

Pruritis (itching) may occur as a symptom of MS. It is one of the family of abnormal sensations-such as "pins and needles" and burning, stabbing, or tearing pains-which may be experienced by people with MS. These sensations are known as dysesthesias, and they are neurologic in origin.

Different from Allergic Itching
Dysesthetic itching may occur suddenly and intensely, but for brief periods. It may be present over any part of the body or face. It is different from the generalized itching that can accompany an allergic reaction, as there is no external skin rash or irritation at the site of itching. Corticosteroid ointments applied to the skin are not helpful in relieving this type of itch.

Medications Can Treat Itching Associated with MS
There are, however, several medications that are usually successful in treating dysesthetic itching. Among them are:

anticonvulsants, such as carbamazepine (Tegretol®), diphenylhydantoin (Dilantin®), and gabapentin (Neurontin®); antidepressants, such as amitriptyline (Elavil®) and the MAO inhibitors; the antihistamine hydroxyzine (Atarax®).

People who experience itching should consult their physician.

Also:
Zonegran. It's actually an epilepsy drug. From what I understand, Zonegran fools the brain into not receiving the phantom itching messages from MS itching.

This Past Weekend

... was painful! I was fully medicated to the teeth due to the soar throat and it being the weekend with shot and all. My throat is all better, but the medicine made me dizzy all weekend. I slept a lot, and Chris was very unforgiving about that. The dizziness is still about, I fall into walls and things. Luckily I only fell down once, but it was with Pixi and I think I scared her. The shot scared both Chris and I when it started bleeding profusely.
Numbness is slowly ... kind of stablizing. The itching has stopped, not immidiately but I did spend half a bottle of Absorbing Jr. on it thinking that would help... not as much as I would have liked. It's still itches sometimes, but only vaguely.
Duty2 was bright red and only twice in 4 days.

Good News Comes In A Pill

CONGRATS TO DR VOLLMER: NEW ORAL MS DRUG Fampridine-SR IS CLOSER DUE TO DR VOLLMER & HIS TEAM

Give Dr. Vollmer congrats on the completion and publication of his study on the new oral MS drug Fampridine-SR
PLUS...WISH DR. VOLLMER GOOD LUCK ON THE OTHER NEW MS TREATMENTS THAT HE AND HIS TEAM AT BARROW NEUROLOGICAL INSTITUTE ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON!!!
Timothy Vollmer, M.D.Chairman, Division of NeurologyBarrow Neurological InstituteThe following study on the new oral MS drug Fampridine-SR was performed by Dr. Vollmer and 4 Doctors from:Yale UniversityUniversity of RochesterMellen Center, Cleveland Clinic FoundationWashington University
Fampridine-SR in multiple sclerosis: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, dose-ranging study
ABSTRACT:
Objective: To determine the safety of sustained-release 4-aminopyridine in subjects with mutiple sclerosis (MS) and to examine dose-related efficacy up to 40 mg twice daily.
Methods:Multicenter, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, study. Following a 4-week baseline peroid, subjects were randomly assigned to receive Fampridine-SR (n=25, doses from 10 to 40 mg twice daily, increasing in 5 mg increments weekly) or placebo (n=11). A battery of assessments was performed weekly, including the MS Functional Composite (MSFC), fatigue questionnaires, and lower extremity manual muscle testing.Results: Improvement were seen in lower extremity muscle strength (prospective analysis) and walking speed (post-hoc analysis) in the Fampridine-SR group compared to placebo (unadjusted p-values of 0.01 and 0.03, respectively).
There were no significant differences in other MSFC measure or fatigue scores.The most common adverse events were dizziness, insomnia, paresthesia, asthenia, nausea, headache, and tremor. Five subjects were discontinued from Fampridine-SR because of adverse events at doses greater than 25 mg, and these included convulsions in two subjects at doses of 30 and 35 mg twice daily.
Conclusions:Future studies should employ doses up to 20 mg twice daily with lower extremity strength and walking speed as potential outcome measures.

Sickness Ensues

I feel very sick today. Yesterday I went to the doctors office because of a soar throat I've had for two days before hand. The first day it was at night only, but it really hurt to swallow. The second day it hurt off and on throughout the day. Yesterday though, I couldn't stand it. All yesterday night I spent awake spraying way too much cloroseptic spray because no matter which way I turned or lay, it hurt. Yesterday durring the day I took off work to take myself to the doctors. I wasn't able to get an apointment with my normal doctor, so I went to a primary med. place.
I spent about three hours (for real, no exageration) waiting for the doctor to tell me that I don't have the flu or strep throat. Great, but what do I have? Grrr... doctors like that annoy me. I was fully prepared to stay for more testing, but they just sent me on my way with a couple of perscriptions and telling me I should probably take today off today.
I wasn't going to, but when I woke up... I definetly needed to. I've had a headache all day, on and off. My day has been filled with taking medicine and sleeping because the world is spinning way too much clockwise (normally it's counter-clockwise with me). My right ear hurts, and mainly my right side of my throat, too... the medicine has helped, but not as often as it should.
Achie is my body, which I think is more to do with the medication than a symtom. It still hurts to swallow.
As far as the MS goes: My left arm, which all this week has been itchy on the upper forearm, right below the elbow on the outter/upper side. When I scratch it, the area and immediate area surrounding feels numb, also the area itself. It's an odd sensation. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes I don't even notice, other times it itches like a burning sensation. In the other direction, my feet and hands are feeling better. The only thing wrong with my hands are the pionter on my right is still stiff and a little odd, I think that'd mainly from slaming it in the boxoffice door tuesday. My left was completely better, but the numbness from the itch spot has spread to my pinkie and the broad side of my thumb. It's odd how it surrounds... not up to the second didget even, though. My feet are almost all better, just down to lightly numb on the pads, thumb toe, and last two toes on each foot (which is where the numbness started in the first place). Just writing this down for my own volitians.

Cool Stuff

There's two big MS support things this week:
1) There's a CD made by an MSer that part of the proceeds go to the NMSS. It's about his time dealing with the symptoms and diagnosis (yes, I've alredy ordered one for myself).
2) Check out this page:
http://blog.healthtalk.com/multiple-sclerosis/postcards/
It's like that postcard book, but specifically for MSers and those who support us. It's a convinent way to explode about our feelings without offending anyone. they've got some good ones on there.

Reminder

REMINDER TO ALL: This blog is mainly for my own services. I don't want you to get nervous or anything because of what I write here. It's for my own cognitive recognition. Don't worry!

Eh

I'm kind of getting better... I think. My right hand is feeling almost 90% better... minus my pointer finger. I have a feeling it'll take a while for that finger (I assume because I use it all the time for the mouse at work and home). It just feels stiff and worn.
My left hand is also better, but is still somewhat numb. That general light numbness has spread up to my elbow. Oye. It's like when your arm falls asleep because you're on it. That feeling when you just start to realize it, before you try to move it and it feels rubbery.
My legs are better, I think (I'm sitting, so it's hard to tell). My feet are still weird numb, cut off of circulation feeling. But of course that is only on the pads and heels. My toes are getting their feeling back, but the pinkie and ring toes are still pretty bad. But they don't feel like they don't even exist any more, so that's good.

Note to self: 2 hurts & bled a week ago.

Rough Day

Today was a rough day. Despite taking two doses of "allday" extra-strength Tylonal and Benedryl it was tough. I spent a lot of the day in bed with my body aching. When I did get up, it wasn't for long amounts of time, mainly just to eat. Sweaty, achie, tired, and majorly dehydrated... that's how I spent most of my day. It was a bad after-shot day.
But, of course, Chris made my day easier by making his harder. Thanks, babe. He took the dogs out all day, fed them, and all the chores we usually split, he pulled double duty. He even surprised me by making my favorite cookies.

Avonex Night

One note to the Avonex people: Make the plunger smoother.
Today's plunger was stiff.
I tried to give myself a shot, with Chris around, but I wasn't able to put the needle in. So Chris scrubed in gave me the shot. I pushed the sticky plunger in (which took a while), and even took the needle out.
I'm going to start practicing for when he's away on tour. Today was a good step towards that. It's the just initial stick, that's not bad... just intimidating.
This week: We're purchasing an orange.

No Needles for Women with MS!

A member of my MS Group on myspace.com sent this around. It's very interesting (The link is to his blog):

"A new clinical trial, which is seeking participants, may help women with MS get rid of the needles"
A new clinical trial, which is seeking participants, may help women with MS get rid of the needles.

Researchers hope an estrogen called estriol will help women with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis.

It marks the first large-scale trial of a sex hormone to treat the disease, according to the National MS Society.

"Pregnancy makes a variety of autoimmune diseases get better," said Dr. Rhonda Voskuhl, who is heading the study at UCLA.

One of the diseases it helps is multiple sclerosis, a disease that attacks the central nervous system. In MS, the myelin sheath around nerves which helps conduct electrical impulse is lost in multiple areas and replaced with scar tissue.

Voskuhl and a team at UCLA, as well as six other universities around the country, will start enrollment at the end of February for a two-year clinical trial of estriol with about 130 nonpregnant women with MS.

About four years ago, Voskuhl did a small-scale study of estriol with 12 women who had MS.

"We saw an improvement in cognitive functions," she said.

The study also saw an 80 percent reduction in inflamed regions in the brain.

Voskuhl hopes the new estriol study will yield positive results of protecting the nerves and reducing lapses, and not just act to help inflammations.

Estriol is taken in pill form, which would ultimately be cheaper than current treatments. Voskuhl said injection treatments can cost a patient anywhere from $12,000 to $20,000 each year.

Throughout the study, women will take a daily shot of the anti-inflammatory drug Copaxone as well as an estriol pill or a placebo.

"Nobody gets less than the standard of care," Voskuhl said.

The significance of gender differences in diseases such as MS, rheumatoid arthritis and lupus, which affect women three times more frequently than men and often improve during late pregnancy, was long-known but mostly overlooked.

Voskuhl, a graduate of Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and former senior investigator at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, suspected that the sex and pregnancy clues "must be a hint into how these diseases work."

She zeroed in on two hormones produced in abundance during late pregnancy, progesterone and estriol. Mice developed as models for human autoimmune conditions were exposed to the hormones at blood levels close to what would be circulating during the third trimester.

"Progesterone didn't do much," she reports. "But there was a huge disease amelioration when we gave them estriol."

The hormone seems to rein in peripheral blood cells that produce inflammatory reactions. So convincing were her results that the Food and Drug Administration gave her a green light for a six-month pilot study of estriol in women with MS

Enrollment for the study is slated to begin in late February at.......[GO TO MY BLOG FOR FULL STORY AND LINKS]

Video

Check it out:

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=ddf35765-e1ef-42a6-86f7-40a045a44066&f=00&fg=email

MSNBC Today Show did a special interview of an author who has MS. The clip is called Americans Living With Cronic Illness.

Update

Hey, not much. I think the flare up is dying down (I hope). My hands and feet are still being affected, as is my balance.
Yesterday was bad and it seemed like i was overmedicated, though I wasn't. I felt so sick just sitting there I thought I'd fall out of my chair. But then I had lunch and felt a little better, enough to stay the rest of the day, though I didn't feel good enough to be driving. I think it's all due to the sinus infection my body is currently fighting as well. I'm just starting to get over it, but caughing when I lay down still. Don't worry I'm staying well medicated at night. Unfortunately that means Chris has had to take care of the midnight puppy outings. Sorry, Chris.
But he's been a dear about it, and like I said, I think I'm getting better. To recap:
Hands & feet and legs are still numb
dizziness & balance problems
Sinus throat caugh & drainage
But it's all getting better. :)

avonex

Dear AVONEX user,

Your life with the #1 prescribed MS therapy—AVONEX (Interferon beta-1a)—has just been made a little easier thanks
to a new luer lock syringe. AVONEX luer lock Prefilled Syringes are designed to give you added protection. Now you
can feel even more confident about taking the #1 prescribed MS therapy in the world.

AVONEX luer lock Prefilled Syringes have a yellow sticker on the outside of the packaging that reads,
“NEW SYRINGE AND PATIENT STORAGE CONDITIONS.”

Please take a moment to review the information below.





The old luer slip has been replaced on all AVONEX Prefilled Syringes with a new
luer lock. The new luer lock secures the syringe to the needle for added protection.

Please see below for instructions on how to use the new luer lock. For complete
instructions on how to prepare and inject AVONEX, see the patient
Medication Guide at www.AVONEX.com.



Hold the AVONEX Prefilled
Syringe upright, with the
cap pointing up. Remove
the cap by bending it at a
90° angle until it snaps off.


Open the package with the
needle. Attach the needle by
pressing it onto the syringe.
Be careful not to push the
plunger while attaching
the needle.
Turn the needle clockwise until
it locks in place. If the needle is
not firmly attached to the syringe,
it may leak and you may not get
your full dose of AVONEX.

PLEASE SEE THE AVONEX PATIENT MEDICATION GUIDE FOR COMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS.

Avonex Update

Avonex has started packaging a new needle!


Actually the only thing new about this version is that it has a new twist locking mechanism. The old luer slip has been replaced on all AVONEX Prefilled Syringes with a new
luer lock. The new luer lock secures the syringe to the needle for added protection.

Please see below for instructions on how to use the new luer lock. For complete
instructions on how to prepare and inject AVONEX, see the patient
Medication Guide at www.AVONEX.com.


They have been doing wonderful stuff in reply to people's complaints, like the smaller needles. I know you guys aren't affected by it, but I just thought I'd share because it's kind of exciting to me to know that I won't screw up and let the needle come off when I stick it in.

Give me a hand

Alright, the flair up is officially on a role!
Don't worry, I've called Dr. E and left a message. He's calling me back soon.
I'm dizzy and falling into walls today, more so than usual. That's not the big part: My hand (right hand) is quickly going stiff-numb. and my left hand, pinky and first diget on ring, is soon following.
I'm scared that he'll recommend the IV again. I know it sounds trite but... just give me a pill to fix it.
I'm sure this is the hump before I'm over the hill, because my eye actually got quite better after I took a nap yesterday. I think I just need some proper sleep... which is kind of hard with the puppy, and I can't expect Chris to do more than what he's already been doing for me.
It's just going to take time to adjust to the new schedule for all of us and all our parts.
I'm sure I'll be better by the end of next week... one way or another

Do you see what Eye see?

I've already had a bout of optic neuritis when I was first being diagnosed with ms, and this is definetly a different type of pain. My eye feels like it has an eyelash in it, but it doesnt... but the vision loss is similar to my first day.
I noticed this pain earlier today, after lunch... maybe something flew in it while I was walking the pups.
Love you guys.

Take your vitamins!

Vitamin D May Lower Risk of Multiple Sclerosis in Whites
Those with highest levels of sunshine vitamin have lower rates of MS, finds study

WEDNESDAY, Dec. 20 (HealthDay News) -- Could getting some extra sunshine help prevent the development of multiple sclerosis?

Maybe, according to new research that found white people with high circulating levels of vitamin D -- a vitamin mainly produced by the body after sun exposure -- had a lower risk of developing multiple sclerosis (MS). No such association was found for blacks or Hispanics in this study, which is published in the Dec. 20 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association .

"The group [of whites] with the highest vitamin D levels had a 62 percent decreased risk compared to the group with the lowest levels," said the study's lead author, Dr. Alberto Ascherio, an associate professor of nutrition and epidemiology at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston.

However, Ascherio cautioned that it was too soon to recommend that anyone -- even those at high risk of developing MS -- start taking vitamin D supplements or increasing their sun exposure with the hope of preventing MS.

Multiple sclerosis is a disease of the central nervous system. It's believed to be an autoimmune disease that causes the body's immune system to attack the substance -- myelin -- that covers nerve cells. About 400,000 Americans have MS, according to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Symptoms of the disorder include poor coordination, loss of balance, blurred vision, fatigue, cognitive problems, numbness and possible paralysis.

Using blood samples stored among a repository of more than 7 million samples maintained by the U.S. Department of Defense, the researchers compared blood samples of 257 people with multiple sclerosis to 514 age, sex and race-matched control samples.

One hundred forty eight of the samples were from whites; 77 were from blacks, and 32 were from Hispanic adults.

The researchers analyzed the blood samples for levels of circulating vitamin D and separated the samples into five groups based on the vitamin D levels.

They found that the group with the highest levels had a 62 percent decreased risk of MS compared to the group with the lowest.

However, these differences only held true for white people. There was no association for blacks and Hispanics. The researchers theorized that may be either because the sample sizes were much smaller than they were for whites or because blacks and Hispanics have lower levels of circulating vitamin D.

Ascherio said the researchers don't know for sure whether vitamin D may play a role in causing MS, but they suspect that it probably does.

"There is a pretty good convergence of evidence that vitamin D affects the immune system to lower the risk of MS," he said, adding that if that is the case, "the potential for prevention is enormous."

"This is another piece of the puzzle, and it may help to explain why we see geographic difference in MS," said Dr. Nicholas LaRocca, associate vice president of health care delivery and policy research at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

But what this association means -- "is it an actual risk factor; how does it work; what can we do about it?" -- is open to question, he added.

"In the future, if one could establish a causal relationship, it could present an opportunity for a partially preventive strategy. Right now, the scientific community is not convinced that there's enough evidence to recommend taking vitamin D supplements, though," LaRocca said.

HealthDay

My New Baby!

Shakes

For the past couple of nights I've noticed I've been tense and twitching... a lot. Also My insides (in the torso/chest) feel like they're shaking at a very fast speed.
I'm a bit dehydrated, and need more fiber. I'm very tired, and have been most of the day, but I don't want to take another provigil for a while. Shot night tonight... but I'm calmer than I have been. We shall see if I wake early tomorrow or sleep through the day.

Shakes

For the past couple of nights I've noticed I've been tense and twitching... a lot. Also My insides (in the torso/chest) feel like they're shaking at a very fast speed.
I'm a bit dehydrated, and need more fiber. I'm very tired, and have been most of the day, but I don't want to take another provigil for a while. Shot night tonight... but I'm calmer than I have been. We shall see if I wake early tomorrow or sleep through the day.

Shakes

For the past couple of nights I've noticed I've been tense and twitching... a lot. Also My insides (in the torso/chest) feel like they're shaking at a very fast speed.
I'm a bit dehydrated, and need more fiber. I'm very tired, and have been most of the day, but I don't want to take another provigil for a while. Shot night tonight... but I'm calmer than I have been. We shall see if I wake early tomorrow or sleep through the day.

Minor Flaire Up

Today I had a minor flair up... I guess I should say Last Night. When I went to bed I noticed my right big toe was numb, in the way that I can't even tell that I have it other than the resistance the rest of my foot got when I pushed it against the wall. Through the night I noticed more and more parts that were numb in the tingly way (not the "not there" way, on most of them). Up the back of my legs, mainly the right, my midsection, and up my spine (which slightly spreads across my back). It's nothing big, DO NOT WORRY! Just updating you and keeping it journaled somewhere so I don't forget.
It kept me home today, and I definetly needed the rest.
I'm trying to think of what I did the day before that might have caused it. I had a Diet Dr Pepper, instead of regular, and couldn't get through it.. the nutrisweet was too much for me. And I had that provigil that made my heart pound so fast... could be a combination of the both... it did make things weird.
Anyway, my feet are numb, and things will get better. I'm resting out the day. and going to bed for the night. Things should be good enough in the morning so that I can go to work... even if it's just for one day, which will be good, cause then if it's hard, I can rest the next day (saturday).

Provigil

Oh my, I shouldn't take a full one. I've gotten dizzy today and feel like I'm overdosing on it... like too much caugh syrup or something. That crazy, dizzy, tremor, and light feeling but instead of in my head, it's all over. Oye. It'll be better after I sleep it off, IF I can sleep.