Friday, January 18, 2008

Tingley Hibi-Jibies


Okay, let me try to describe to you what the last few weeks have been like for me. Have you ever had an ant crawling on you (not bite you, just crawl on you... or maybe even a spider)? Okay, imagine that all over your body... not just one ant, though... millions... billions... gad-zillions! And not just over your body, but inside your body. I know not just ew, but creepy. But that's how my body feels right now, and has felt, progressively, for the past few weeks. At first it was just at night keeping me awake until something would kick in, and now it's anytime my body is still (sitting, standing, laying down, etc). Also, at first it was just in the legs, so I thought it was a case of RLS. But this week it has progressed rapidly up my trunk. I've quickly sleep medicated myself out, so now the pills don't work on me anymore. :( . I kind of equate what I feel to visually what the TV does when it has the black and white static. Anyway, just an update on the MonSter inside.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

You Know You Have MS When

These quips actually originated from a posting in the MS community at Daily Strength.

You Know You Have MS When:

Your four-year-old is better than you in memory games.
You face-plant into the floor and only afterwards you think, "I'm falling!"
You tell your daughter to go to bed (in the garage) at 9 PM.
You're on the phone with a dear friend and can't remember who the heck she is.
You pay the phone bill twice because you can't remember that you paid it in the first time.
You forget to pay the electric bill and your power gets turned off.
You realize you sent the electric bill payment to the phone company.
You call someone and by the time they answer the phone, you forgotwho you called.
You try to grease a skillit with 409 instead of Pam.
The bottoms of your feet are numb and you realize you've been walking around without shoes on because you can't tell the difference.
Your dog cleans up after you.
You attempt to bake cookies, but you use wax paper instead of parchment paper. Even worse, you can't determine what's wrong until your cookies start to look like candles in the oven. Worst of all you have to call your mom to ask if you are able to cook in the oven with wax paper. She thinks you've lost your mind because you've been baking cookies on parchment for years!
You dice your fingers while washing knives in the sink. The water turns red and you haven't a clue why.
It's easier to use Charades because you just can't remember the words.
You hold a nail with one hand and a hammer with another, but by the time you're ready to finally swing the hammer you've dropped the darn nail... again.
You call your daughter to ask for directions and realize you've already arrived at the location in question.
You attempt to move your index finger and your pinky finger moves instead.
You wash your hair with conditioner and THEN was it with shampoo.
You try to get your key into the door to your apartment. You jam and slam and swear! Your neighbor opens the door from the inside to help you and you realize you're breaking into the wrong place.
You go to the store, turn around and realize you're lost. You have to call your 16-year-old to come and find you (or you call your husband's cell phone just to hear it ringing like a homing device).
You have a college education, but when your doctor asks you to spell a simple, four-lettered word, you're speechless. Of course, you can easily shout out a four-letter word in reply (not necessarily the same one the doctor wanted to hear).
You invite your guests to sit on the cake while you serve the couch.
Your mom seeks out advice about Social Security from YOU.
Buttons are useless, zippers are worse, so your whole wardrobe turns into elastic waists or Velcro.
You have become jealous of how few times pregnant women go to the bathroom.
You use body soap instead of body lotion and can't figure out why it won't rub in.
You map out everywhere you go based on how many public restrooms are along the way.
You have to ask the dog where his leash is.
You fail a test for intoxication and you haven't had a drink (YOU try to walk a straight line with MS!)
Your nine-year-old tucks you in bed and kisses you on the nose.
Your 80-year-old mom jumps up from her seat and offers it to you.
You point your keyless car entry button at the front door of your home and wonder why the door isn't beeping.
Your Neuro asks you to look to the right and instead you look to the left. Or worse, you move your whole head instead of just your eyes.
You start to take your meds and can't remember if you already took them. So you hunt to find the pamphlet that comes with the prescription so you know what to expect if you accidentally overdose.
You do exactly what the instructions on teh shampoo bottle read: Wash, rinse, repeat. But, you only do it because you can't remember what parts you have already done.
You go to work with one shaved leg because you forgot to shave the other. The next morning you decide to shave the other leg to play catch-up, only to find out that you re-shaved the same one again.
You sleep in your work clothes because you're just too darn tired to change into PJ's and then back into work clothes the next morning.
Your 70-year-old father offers to let you borrow the cane he used after knee surgery, because it looks like you need it more than him.
One of your students (worried about your eyesight) tapes paper over the overhead lights and you think you've forgotten how to operate them.
You refer to swallowing a pill as swallowing a pillow.
Your child's teacher corrects YOUR spelling in a note to her.
You get excited when the weatherman says to expect "unseasonably cool" weather.
You show up to your job from four years ago, walk in the front door, and only then realize that you've shown up at the wrong employer.
And ond of the best ways to know you have MS is when your teenager thanks YOU for doing some of the cooking and cleaning!