Ickie feelings

I have been achie and dizzy for most of the day, when I wasn't sleeping. This is nothing new or big, just my average saturday. I'm hungry... and it's ten thirty at night. I don't feel full, my mouth wants more, but my stomache is protruding. I'm overweight (yes, I know most of you would be kind and disagree, but the scales don't lie)... but I can't stop eating. I want peanuts... no, pizza.
This is not the big part of this ickie feeling. I've been thinking, not a good thing to do when one is feeling badly. I live way outside my means, and I shouldn't... I shouldn't have to either. But due to the major pay decrease I took, I can't even think about supporting myself. Why should I be the one to get further punishment for being descriminated against? There's no justice in this trade I made.
I keep trying to figure out what I'm going to do when Chris goes off to college. I'm worried about rent. I can't afford anything more than what I'm paying... and I really can't afford that. I've got medical bills my family shouldn't be having to pay; and no matter what, no matter who is actually paying for my things, I shouldn't be barely scraping by, if scrapping by at all. Why am I barely getting by? I don't want you too feel sorry for me, or anything like that. I am just getting my thoughts out there. They've been rather down and out lately.
Please don't read this wrong. I just needed to get my thoughts out. I'm confused. I mean, here I am, in desperate measure to get a puppy (yes, I say for Tira because she does need a friend) but how am I even going to support it... I can't even support myself. I do well... but my parents help, and I don't want that to have to be the case my whole life. I want to be able to support them, and my own family someday. I was doing fine. I had a good paying job... and I could it. But now, I love my new job, but it just doesn't pay as well. I don't know what to do or how others do it. The biggest anger I have at it is that I shouldn't have to. This goes back to the change of job. I shouldn't have had to change my job. She should have been punished. And this angers me, because it's as if nothing happened. I came to this company because they could afford me, now it's like I can't afford life here. It's just not fair.
And now I want eggs... scrambled.

Friday the 15th

Slightly dizzy on and off all day... counter clockwise.

Achie

Oye, I hurt. I hurt yesterday before I even got my shot, and I feel all achie today too. Just an update. It's not the flu, it's just achiness like the flu, but no fever, caugh, etc. Just achieness. Oye.