Poetic Excuses to Miss Work

Dear sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it
I'm not a pretty sight

My body is all black and blue
My face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you
Why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height
Was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased
He is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them
Down the ladder in my hod

Well moving all these bricks by hand
It was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below

But in my haste to do the job
I was to blind to see
That a barrell full of building bricks
Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope
The barrell fell like lead
But clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket
'til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head

Still clinging tightly to the rope
From this almighty blow
Whilst the barrel spilled out half it's bricks
Some fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And so started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope
My body racked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock

Still clinging tightly to the rope
I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks
The barrel had scattered round

I lay there bleeding on the ground
I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me
I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground
I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier
It started down once more
And landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm
And I can only say
I hope you'll understand
Why I am not at work today !!!